Lately.

Things' have happened recently, and I've changed. Alot. And I'd be lying if I said I am who I used to be. Because. I'm not. But just trust me when I say. This is for the best. This is for a better me. A better you. A better life. A better love, appreciation and understanding of what it really means. Of what it all means. I'm sorry it's like this. But I hope one day we'll all just look back and realize it was for the best.hings' have happened recently, and I've changed. Alot. And I'd be lying if I said I am who I used to be. Because. I'm not. But just trust me when I say. This is for the best. This is for a better me. A better you. A better life. A better love, appreciation and understanding of what it really means. Of what it all means. I'm sorry it's like this. But I hope one day we'll all just look back and realize it was for the best.

The 11th of November.

It's a very special day.

It's remembrance day.

I was lucky enough to be born on this very special day.

My birthday's haven't always been .. amazing.

I don't usually get as much as other people can get;

But then again, it's celebrating me, not what people buy me as gifts,

And I've never done anything for my birthday; 

Like a sleepover or cinema, or whatever.

I guess my parent's just aren't the type to throw me a party.

=/

But this year it was really good!

I wasn't looking too forward to it, 

But tbh, I really enjoyed the day.

And my friend's bought me quite a few gifts;

Including a red rose from Luke.

Man I love that guy.

He's adorable.

And amazing.

I love him to bits x]

Luke, Kati, Shannon, Charlotte and Laura.

                            ^^ 

Those guys made my birthday amazing.

Thanks guys.

I love you!

x

Stereotyping.

The google definitions of a stereotype:

*An mistaken idea that many people have about a culture different from their own. Stereotypes are often hurtful and damaging. 

*A stereotype was originally the name for a duplication made during the printing process; this led to its modern definition as a person or thing ...

*Ethnic stereotypes are fixed, oversimplified ideas about an entire group. A stereotype may contain a "kernel of truth," but this kernel becomes exaggerated and rigidly applied to the entire group.

Stereotype's are often used in our schools and in our work places.

In our shops; in our homes;

Stereotype's are used everywhere.

Wither or not we like them, they're always going to be there.

In my school for instance.

My school is a chav school because the majority of people that go to Ashlawn, 

They're chavs. Chav is just a word for a type of person.

Many stereotype's, or labels, vary from place to place.

Some common ones from the UK include;

Chav's, goth's, emo's, preppy, nerd's, popluarettes;

Blah blahh BLAHH!

There are plenty that everyone knows, 

But really, do they make a difference ?

I recently almost had a fight over one of my friends because he thought he was "emo"

And I said "No, you're actually not"

And it got really in depth and actually,

It's debatable wither we need stereotyping.

Is it all just a waste of time ?

I think it is, as I mean,

An anecdote for you.

My mum, (she's awesome and) works in a shop,

She's the manager and one of the workers..

He was wearing "black nail polish and has long black hair."

She wasn't going to let him be seen, he was to work upstairs

But as she got to know him, they got on really well.

And in a couple of months, we're going to his wedding,

Which shall be amazing!

:)

But we do need stereotype's because you always need to form some sort of opinion on someone..

You can't leave, just meeting a new person,

And not think anything about them,

And without stereotyping, this would not be possible, or be very hard at least.

There are pro's and con's of stereotyping, but I suppose, 

They're not going to go away;

And so we'll just have to learn how to live with them;

Some can be harsh, and some complimentary,

But everything in life's got ups and downs with.

Promises.

I have quite a few friends.

And everyones means alot to me,

But my bests mean the most;

And I would actually DIE for any of them.

One of the group, Laura has hit some very hard times recently.

Stuff is going on in her life that she can't cope with too well;

And tbph, everyone does at some point in their life anyway.

But the way Laura is venting all of her anger and depression

It's through self harming.

I'm no liar when I say I have self harmed before.

But it's a state of mind. Skeptics may hold the view that it can be .. pathetic

And trust me, when you get to the stage were you do self harm,

You're at a low, and you know what you're doing is wrong,

But you just don't know how to get out.

You're lost and you have no way to turn.

But with Laura, everyones butting in, pretending like they know whats up;

Her friends and family, and I'm just as bad.

Everyone says they love her, but she believes no one.

I've spelled it out to Laura many a time that I'm here for her.

She's my best friend, I love her, and when she hurts, I hurt.

And her 'habits' upset me. They really do.

But I think I've got through to her.

I've made her promise to call me when she feels this way.

We're together now.

Shes not dealing with anything on her own now.

She has me.

And I'm going to help her.

" You're soo cute together.. "

I thought so too.

So yeah. Last week, was the best week of my life. Last week was half term, and in this week

I took my parents to go and meet Luke.

Okay; So it would have been better if it was just us two, alone, all of the time, but it was still a great week.

This was the first time I'd met my 'online' or 'e' boyfriend.

We'd gotten along soo well in the three months I'd known him, that I decided I wanted to go over and spend some time with him.

I was quite surprised at my mum and dad for actually letting me do this, 

As they are  extremely protective. 

But yeah. Luke was as amazing as I knew he was and imagined he could be.

Because most of our lives are spent online, talking to friends and such (lol!)

We went on MSN alot to talk to our friends and to show any critics that we were really happy together

And NOT to gossip or backstab behind our backs,

I'm  pretty sure that this had been going on, but as my friends saw, we are infact

The "perfect couple" and we are "cute together"

So ^^

And if one good thing came out of this week?

It confirmed that I love Luke.

And Luke loves me too.

:D

22nd August 2008 

(L) (F) (K) (R)

Luke and Dannie.

x

Two months.

Today was our two month anniversary.
I know it maybe kinda sad for some people to keep dates like this.
But I like doing it so XP.

Anyway.
Today wasn't the best day because of things ..

Hmm..
But yeah :D
It ended great.
I was on msn a while ago, and I had to leave to go to work.
And so I had to say bye to Luke.
Did you know that thats actually REALLY hard to do.
I know right, I'm dreading leaving him irl to come back home..

Anyway :]
When I'd finished at nine,
I was texting him, and he has no credit,
So I made it quite a long one.

Yeaaah.
I got home,
Signed on, and guess who was on.

I know right.
Typical.
I should have expected it.

Well anyway.
It was at 6 pages and tbph,
I couldn't be bothered to type it all out to him.
So I waited until he signed out
And I sent it to him.
All 11 pages of it.
:)
:Proud:

So yeah.
Thats about it
Although I did write two poems about him and us yesterday.
One of which ..

"One day I will be there;
I'll be
there with him;
Be in his arms;
And I'll let him play with my
hair.

One day I can just be happy;
To feel
safe; to feel warm;
To be loved;
No need to feel crappy.

One day I can feel his tender
lips;
Brush against my cold;
Un-touched and un-loved mouth;
His
caressing hands on my hips.

One day I will be
there;
In his heart;
As he is in mine;
I love you"

Yeahh.
That's it for today :D
I love my boyfriend.
Can you tell ;)

"You make me so happy. I've been the
most miserable bastard before you. Even mum says I've been better since I've
known you."

Fairy Tales.

I read all of the gushy pictures you see on photo bucket.

And I saw "You'll always be mine"

And right from the start;

I realised,

I'll never just be one of those girls

With one of those boyfriends.

That would spend the whole day just pleasing you

That could spend hours just talking to you

That will spew all of this just to see a smile on your face

Who adores your smile and can't wait to be able to gaze into your eyes.

Who loves you no matter how dorky you can be

How easily amused you are, no matter how childish your humor can become.

Although at times, you may feel alone

And you may not understand why or how you can be ignored like this.

Trust me.

I've FOUND the guy for me.

The one I love.

The one whose in love with me.

Who adores and cherishes me.

And I can't wait to just be with him.

This will be the most amazing time of my life to date.

It happens to everyone.

Just wait for your Prince Charming.

He's not dress in a suit of armor;

And they don't throw in a white horse for ya'll

Nothings going to be a perfect fairy tale.

After all.

What goes up must come down.

You are going to have to work at things.

The best things in life aren't given to you.

You have to work to get them (and keep them).

And all good things come to an end,

As everything does.

I'm not going to lie.

I would LOVE to be with him forever.

But I know at one point, wither it's next week.

Or in a couple of years.

Or in 50, things are going to end.

But lets not worry about that.

Live life for the moment.

Enjoy things as they happen to you and don't dwindle in the past.

I love my boyfriend.

Sorry; but what can I say ^^

I am deeply. Deeply. Deeply. Deeply. Deeply. Madly. Madly. Madly. Madly. Madly. In love with you.

I love him.

So.

I have a best friend called Zach.

He's pretty awesome, although he is THE single most ANNOYING person on the entire planet.

Yeah.

We get along well.

Anyway.

On the 30th July 2008, he introduced me to his online best friend.

Mr. Luke Dean Williams.

After talking to Luke for two days, I had told him my three biggest secrets.

I know right.

But I wasn't being stupid.

We just really clicked.

After talking to Luke for about a month, on the 22nd August 2008, he asked me out.

I know online relationships aren't the best idea.

And it IS a long distance one.. but, I really thought and still think we can make this work.

So, I went for it :D

Now, three days off of a two month relationship, and everything's going REALLY well :D

I love him and he loves me.

And tbph.

I have ALOT of trust issues.

With EVERYONE in the world.

But with Luke.

Well .. I just trust him.

Whenever I talk to him or think about him, I just feel all warm and safe.

I know.

I'm a loser.

Live with it. ;)

But yeah.

I really do know that we can work this.

I've told my mum too.

And that was quite hard for me, but I know that I want everything to be out in the open and all .. 

Clean slate right from the start.

And hey :D

Look where that got me :D

I'm going over to where he lives from Sunday -> Friday.

This should be amazing.

We're both really excited.

And it's really sweet.

I just.

I can't put into words how much I love him.

He means the world to me.

And yeah, that may sound cheesy, but tbph;

I don't give a monkeys, because for once in my life.

I'm happy.

So yeah.

Couple of problems.

Internet boyfriend (At least for another 5/6 days)

Long distance relationship

Age gap (I'm 14 on the 11th of next month, he's 17 in July.)

People being bitches and interfering

But it all doesn't matter.

Because the only two people that matter in this relationship,

Well.

They love each other VERY much, and will continue to for a long time so.

^^

By GOD am I happy

I want to stay with you and love you forever more. I never want us to stop and I wont let it